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Fifty Shades of Anaïs Nin.

 By Kate Bartolottaon, Elephant Journal
Fifty Shades of Anaïs Nin.
You can keep Anastasia and Christian.

I’m going back to my Anaïs Nin.

I noticed it came up over and over in our discussions on elephant about Fifty Shades of Grey: “skip that stuff and go for Anaïs Nin.”

So true. Such a powerful writer. And Waylon mentioned earlier when we were debating about Fifty Shades that media always seems to say, every decade or so, “here’s a book or television show that finally empowers women to talk about sexuality!”

Well, Anaïs Nin was so empowered, and empowering, a full century ago.”

n her own words on love, sexuality and many things in between:

1. “Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.”

2. “I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.”

3. “I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger as reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me. Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn’t impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.”

4. “I am lonely, yet not everybody will do. I don’t know why, some people fill the gaps and others emphasize my loneliness. In reality those who satisfy me are those who simply allow me to live with my ‘idea of them.’”

5. “Do not seek the because—in love there is no because, no reason, no explanation, no solutions.”

6. “Shame is the lie someone told you about yourself.”

7. “You don’t find love, it finds you. It’s got a little bit to do with destiny, fate, and what’s written in the stars.”

8. “I hate men who are afraid of women’s strength.”

9. “There are two ways to reach me: by way of kisses or by way of the imagination. But there is a hierarchy: the kisses alone don’t work.”

10. “Our love of each other was like two long shadows kissing without hope of reality.

11. “You cannot save people. You can only love them.”

12. “Only the united beat of sex and heart together can create ecstasy.”

13. “When one is pretending, the entire body revolts.”

14. “Passion gives me moments of wholeness.”

15. “I have decided that it is better not to love anyone, because when you love people, then you have to be separated from them, and that hurts too much.”

16. “The body is an instrument which only gives off music when it is used as a body. Always an orchestra, and just as music traverses walls, so sensuality traverses the body and reaches up to ecstasy.”

17. “It takes courage to push yourself to places you have never been before… to test your limits… to break through barriers. And the day came when the risk it took to stay tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

18. “Don’t wait for it,” I said. “Create a world, your world. Alone. Stand alone. And then love will come to you, then it comes to you.”

19. “The enemy of a love is never outside, it’s not a man or a woman, it’s what we lack in ourselves.”

20. “Stories do not end.”

So, that’s only twenty. But stories do not end.

Keep writing.

Write it with your bones, with your sweat, with your kisses.

Write it with shoulders colliding and tangled knees.

Write it from thousands of miles apart.

Write it from the opposite sides of the room.

Write with a whisper, with sighs, with the words that are stuck in your throat.

Write from where you ache, where there used to be fingerprints, where it’s hollow.

Write with your fever, with loneliness, with ecstasy.

Write by yourself in the thin hours that stretch between too late and too early.

Write to a lover.

Write to a stranger.

Write to the one you just thought of when I said, “write to ‘the one.’”

All the “tie me up, tie me down, spank me” madness in the world can’t hold a candle to the raw beauty of two people, fearlessly baring themselves (and not just their bodies). Write your own story.

[Reblog. Source: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2012/05/fifty-shades-of-anais-nin/ ]

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I Am- Alive, Free, Responsible and Thankful.

I made a decision to be free. To live, according to me.

Dismantling the concept of career and destiny from my day to day, I began my efforts to experience moments genuinely.
Fuck success. I crave to perceive and to feel.

In so doing, I unexpectedly found myself embarking on a path of self-healing. Consulting nature, science, psychology, and art…apathy, empathy, love, and anger…calories, diets, meditation, and exercise…sex, abstinence, and, all kinds of chemistry….
Ha! The wonder! The ecstatic catharsis of being— of being well!
How’s that for success?!

No stranger to pain and illness, this path has set me free beyond measure. I’ve found that there is no need to measure, but rather, a demand to embrace and appreciate—to live consciously. To be consciously aware of the moment that is happening now.

Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is a potential line drawn to and from infinity.
So, I witness; I participate—today.
…Because today is the here. Today is where I am. Today is my now, and I am enjoying it!

Still, in embracing, appreciating, and consciously perceiving,
I am finding that freedom requires responsibility.
Responsibility and commitment to the very vessels that enable my personal freedom and resulting enjoyment;
Responsibility and commitment to my spirit, mind, and body.

My freedom lies in how I see what I see, but so too does the cycle of entrapment.
It is a vicious cycle of the dualistic modalities I have come to accept as a member of the conditioned acculturation of the wanting and needing paradigm– of the fearing and loving spectrum.

I am human.
I am no saint, no sinner, nor confined to ethos of a belief structure.
I am.

Still, responsibility and commitment are key to ensuring the doors of freedom are never locked. It is responsibility and commitment that brings about palpable healing, authentic freedom, freedom in being fully present, freedom in the NOT running away.
…Because, you can’t be Albert Hoffman if you don’t know how to ride a bike.

I seek and see. I dually engage.
I aim and am actively achieving synthesis between fight and flight.

I am responsible and accountable for my spirit, mind and body and how they are reflected onto others.
I am committed to remain aware and thankful.

INSPIRED BY : Recent decisions in my personal life and Cellular Enlightenment 

On Seeing Too Much…High Definition and Such

Separate. Distant. Nothing and everything simultaneously.
We are the discontinuity between general relativity and quantum theory.
A missing metric that measures up in ways we cannot describe;
Nor define.

Seek to find,
Hide and Seek.
Drawing lines for the sake of not spinning.

Shared Nature

I do to get my heart going,
To remember how it beats.

It races.

Nervousness connects us to our humanity,
To the ability to apply psyche to mechanisms of fight and flight.

Hyper-erratic is our new nature,
And consciousness is our engine.

Just as the breath in our lungs was cultivated by the elements and the botanical alchemy of atmospheric transformation,
Just as the love story that evolved into mythology and mysticism
We are beyond eukaryote,
We are beyond mutating DNA,
W
e are aware.

Consciousness bred communication, communication is parent to understanding and the modifications that have become the structures and patterns the can be described as culture, or, our new nature— our Shared Nature.

In propagating and amplifying our civilization, we have enhanced the scope and abilities of our perception.
Consciousness has and is continually extending from, into, and through our milieu.
Our milieu is continually extending from, onto through other milieus.
In so doing, we are accessing other minds.
Call it empathy, call it telepathy, call it mirror neurons, or simply— call it society.

We are as much ourselves as we are the world we live in.
We are our experience. We are self. We are other. We are culture.
We are Nature in movementnurturing possibility.

We are evolving from biology into something else.
Just as we evolved from stardust into complex biological systems,
We are now utilizing our own engineering of society to re-create ourselves and have thusly sparked a Shared Nature.
In so doing, nature has connected us and we have connected nature.

Reciprocal, symbiotic, inevitable evo-development.

A meta-cognitive, semiotic dimensionality.
A vibrationally enticing cymatic like manifestation.
A creation of a new reality!

In sum, forks in the road should not be separation, but rather, a meeting point. Consciousness has brought us to the intersection of spirituality, art and science. Mind, soul, and body. Father, son and holy spirit. Each were meant to course through particular paths to understand their own very nature. Segregating only to unite again.

We wish to know. We will to tell. We find we know that we know and thus we establish. We classify. We theorize, we test, we believe. We societize.

Sacred love.
Sacred art.
Sacred science.

Redundantly human. Redundancy yielding infinite saliency.
We find nothing else and thus find ourselves in everything else.

So, be natural- SHARE.

Thought – 11/10/14

The idea we have of ourselves is just as false as the idea others have of us.
Our externalization of the internal has internalized the external and molded us into our mirrored reflection, dissipating our actual soul-matter.
The age of “…to thine ownself be true” was trumped by “wut dey do”.
We are the victims, but we are also the murderers.

Ink and Feather for the Weather

Mediums of expression,
The real message.
The true essence,
The soul’s confession.

Eyes perceive scened photography,
Crafted via half-baked observation.

Red, light, room.

Agnostic alchemic transformation,
Unworthy depiction left undeveloped–

I am not a camera smith.

Mediums of expression,
The real message.
The true essence,
The soul’s confession.

Hands molding clay–
Hot, oven, chisel.

Sculpture un-sculptured,
As though Venus with no Milo.

I am no Hellenist.

Mediums of expression,
The real message.
The true essence,
The soul’s confession.

Specialization, complication– limitation?

Neural tube to synaptic differentiation.
Process of a being becoming,
In custom, cultured, conditioned fault.

I am not a scientist.

Mediums of expression,
The real message.
The true essence,
The soul’s confession.

Stress and tranquility combine,
Diction activating mind.
In heart pumped blood I rhyme,
Through ink and feather my faith I find.

Mediums of expression,
The real message.
The true essence,
The soul’s confession.

Through this word and tongue,
My communion.